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<title>"I'm a grown adult, I don't want a picture with Santa" and other lies people tell themselves during the month of December by gayoperatorgunclub (Justacityboy)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28296330">"I'm a grown adult, I don't want a picture with Santa" and other lies people tell themselves during the month of December</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justacityboy/pseuds/gayoperatorgunclub'>gayoperatorgunclub (Justacityboy)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Hinduism, It's a Wonderful Life (1946) - Freeform, Multi, Rainbow Six Non-Christian Festival of Winter (RSNCFOW), Siegemas 2020 (Rainbow Six), ch1 tags start here, ch2 tags start here, everyone being high-key horny for a frenchman, manly standoffs over sexy frenchman mentioned earlier, pranking your boyfriend, ultimate betrayals, well-meaning idiots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:47:40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,024</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28296330</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justacityboy/pseuds/gayoperatorgunclub</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of how i think the ctus spend the holidays</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Mark "Mute" Chandar/James "Smoke" Porter, Mike "Thatcher" Baker/Gustave "Doc" Kateb, Sam "Zero" Fisher/Gustave "Doc" Kateb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Siegemas_2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. SAS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>OK LET'S COVER SOME STUFF:</p><p>1. This is my entry for Siegemas 2020!!! I just wanna congratulate all the other participants for their amazing work, and to thank the organizers for putting together this great event!!</p><p>2. School has been busy lately, so I haven't had time to finish this. Today, you'll be receiving the two chapters I've completed thus far, and then the rest will come after the event is over so as not to take away from other content creators! </p><p>3. as usual, tumblr is gayoperatorgunclub, requests are open, and YOU ARE LOVED!!!! anyhoo enjoy!!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“James, I don’t understand why you feel the need to do this. If I wanted to decorate, I’d decorate myself. Besides, shouldn’t you be spending time with your daughter?” Mark appreciated the sentiment, really. It was just a bit weird that James, an Atheist, was so adamant about decorating for Gita Jayanti. Mark barely celebrated it himself, and yet James had managed to get his grubby hands on old decorations (likely from Mark’s parents, as they had been dropping hints about Mark taking James and his daughter in as guests for a Puja this year) and was loudly complaining about the lack of “decorateable surfaces” in Mark’s quarters. </p><p>Suddenly, the door flew open, and in burst Daisy, James’ daughter, arms full of bags of food from every Indian place in the country. Seamus followed behind her, carrying significantly more bags of food. He greeted Mark with a bright smile and waved as best he could with all the bags in his arms. Mark sighed and sauntered over to him, taking some of the bags and leading Seamus and Daisy to the SAS quarters kitchen.</p><p>While the three of them were putting away the feast James had apparently ordered months in advance, they heard a crash coming from the living room, followed immediately by “FOOKIN’ BASTARDS WITH THESE GODDAMN FOOKIN’ PIECES OF SHIT I CAN’T FOOKIN’ TAKE IT ANYMORE” which was cut off by Mike’s hysterical laughter. </p><p>Mark motioned for Seamus and Daisy to keep putting things away while he went to go check on the situation in the living room. </p><p>“James, there’s no need to-” There was a fire. How was there a fire? There hadn’t been any candles, certainly no fireplace. How had this flame started? Mark didn’t have time to ask, as James was still swearing violently, now cursing Mike’s chances of ever actually working up the nerve to ask Gustave out, to which Mike was responding by announcing he was going to go spend time with someone who appreciated him (Gustave) and that anyone else could get fucked. Except for Daisy. And Seamus. And Mark. </p><p>Heavy footsteps sounded behind him, and before Mark knew it, a fire extinguisher was being shoved into his hands, and Seamus was walking back to the kitchen to continue putting away their mountain of food. </p><p>Mark extinguished the fire, and then decided that James was, in fact, deserving of a few good sprays with the retardant. This resulted in James tackling Mark, and Daisy loudly telling Mark to “KILL HIM!! KNOCK HIS BLOCK OFF!!! GET HIM!!!!!!!” Mark pulled away from James, dusting himself off while James lamented how even his daughter despised him. </p><p>“DAISY! Oh, love of my life, light of my days, why must you torment me so? Why is this plane so unkind, so unloving, so……… cruel?!” </p><p>Seamus was standing in the doorway to the kitchen, arms crossed and expression gleeful. “James, why don’t you get up from the floor and come help me put these decorations back up, hm? Maybe that’ll help you understand that the world doesn’t revolve around you.” </p><p>Daisy laughed as her father stuck his tongue out at Seamus, before struggling to get up and dust himself off. </p><p>“You are all so cruel to me. I am leaving. I am going to live my life as a Victorian orphan, or perhaps a newsboy. I will be taking my little rucksack and leaving to become a lone vagabond, and there’s nothing any of you can do to stop me. So long, o cruel coworkers, boyfriend, and daughter. I bid thee farewell as I embark upon this journey to encounter mine own true family and friends. May you spend much time pondering my whereabouts and safety, for you will never hear from me again! O Lord, may you see the tortures I have been forced to endure in this mortal realm, and grant me luxury and decadence upon my arrival at the gates of your palace! I am but a humble soul, subjected to agonies and darkness the likes of which most cannot comprehend. I ask your forgiveness, o Heavenly Father, o Lord of All, for my actions in speeding up my arrival to you. May we meet again, friends, for I am returning home to Heaven!” And with that, he stabbed himself with the prop knife he always keeps on him, and collapsed to the ground, expression peaceful as he lay there, motionless. </p><p>Mark kicked him. </p><p>“Lover?” Of course James was gonna keep up the act. “O love, my soul hath been cleansed by the Holy Light! I am finally deserving of your affections! May you shower them upon me as you would any other divine being, my love! There may be a deity in your midst, but worry not, I will not report your sins to the Father, as I know you have good intentions. All that I require is that you worship me, friends! You may be asking yourselves, “Oh, Your Righteousness! How might we best serve thee?” and I thank you for your eagerness in proving your loyalty. Currently, the best way for you to carry out my will is for you to assist dear Seamus in decorating for JamesDay, the newest holiday during which you have to be kind to anyone you know who happens to be named James. Now run along, faithful subjects! Go and decorate for this most joyous occasion and report back to me once you’ve completed your tasks! Adieu!” With that, he turned on his heel and walked gracefully in the direction of the GIGN’s quarters, probably to undermine Mike’s attempts to seduce Gustave. Mark sighed and shook his head. </p><p>“So. Do we want to decorate, or do you want me to show you how to assemble a proper feast out of what we have?” </p><p>Seamus shrugged, indicating his neutrality, while Daisy was already insisting that they add extra black pepper to her father’s dish. </p><p>-</p><p>When James finally came back, everyone (including Mike, who had managed to succeed in securing a date with Gustave) was seated around the table, eating the fast-breaking feast and chatting about something or other. He pulled up a chair and forced himself between Mark and Daisy, thanking them for their charity in not preparing him a plate. </p><p>“Oi, we were waiting for you so it wouldn’t get cold, mate.” Mike scolded as Mark carefully started dishing him up a plate, signaling Daisy to distract her father so that he could oversalt the curry. </p><p>“Dad, why were you gone so long? Uncle Mike got here an hour ago!” </p><p>“Oh, sweetheart, I was just letting Dr. Kateb know he should watch himself around Uncle Mike, since Uncle Mike stans Margaret Thatcher, and is, therefore, an enemy of the people. Thank you, my love.” He smiled at Mark as his plate was set down before him, completely unaware of what awaited him. </p><p>He pressed a kiss to Mark’s cheek, then lifted a spoonful of curry to his mouth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. FBI SWAT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eliza was trying to enjoy the Rainbow Six Non-Christian Festival Of Winter (RSNCFOW for short), and her phone kept going off. Gustave was sipping a margarita and smirking at her knowingly, and she finally gave in and checked her phone, ignoring how Gustave scooted closer to be able to see as well. </p><p>10,000 text messages. 300 missed calls. A notification from Pokémon GO that an egg was ready to hatch. She sighed and opened the game, deciding Jordan could wait a bit longer for a response. </p><p>-</p><p>Limited-edition Pikachu caught and lovingly nicknamed, she finally closed the game and opened her message app. She took one glance at the most recent message from Jordan, telling her that he was on his way and that he’d save her. Immediately after, the door to the GSG9’s dorms (which had been commandeered by the RSNCFOW planning committee to serve as Party Central) burst open, revealing Jordan (panicked but ready to save Eliza from any possible dangers), Jack (looking like he would rather be anywhere else), and Miles (excited to share his homemade fudge with people who would appreciate it). Jordan looked around, apparently blindsided by the fact that no one appeared to be in danger (aside from anyone who dared challenge Monika to a game of Dreidel). Once he’d spotted Eliza, he yelled “ah-HA! I KNEW IT!” He stormed over to where she and Gustave were sitting and glowered as best he could at Gustave. </p><p>“Ah, Jordan. Can I help you?” Gustave asked, taking another sip of his margarita. The look on Jordan’s face just screamed “god I think you’re really beautiful and I’m currently torn between dropping everything to try my hand at seducing you, or keep going with the plan I’ve spent hours working on” Eliza hopped to God he made the right choice. Fisher had been lurking around the party all night, making sure no one got too close to Gus. She’d hate to see what would happen if someone were to actually speak to the doctor. </p><p>“Yeah, I uh. I was wondering if we could borrow ‘liza for a while? Ya know, team bonding an’ all that?” he gave Gustave his best smile, and Eliza had to keep from laughing when Sam came marching over from his hiding spot to shield Gustave from anyone that wasn’t him. </p><p>“Trace, why don’t you just take Cohen and the rest of your little gang and head on back home, y’hear? There ain’t no need for you to be chattin’ it up with the doctor.” Fisher turned to Eliza and affixed her with a look that told her she didn’t have to go if she didn’t want to. She smiled softly up at the old man, heaving herself up from the couch and looking between him and Gustave very deliberately. She grabbed Jordan by the arm and dragged him to the door, trusting Jack and Miles to follow. </p><p>-</p><p>“What the fuck was that.” She said once they’d arrived at the FBI SWAT dorms. </p><p>“You weren’t answering your phone! I was worried! You could’ve at least called me back!” Jordan whined back at her, pouting when Jack laughed at him from the kitchen.</p><p>“You called her 300 times, man. You didn’t really give her a chance to return any calls before you called her again.” </p><p>“Have you been taking your anxiety meds lately? Maybe you should chat with Doc about a different dosage.” Miles added, looking concerned for his friend. </p><p>“I am FINE! I refuse to speak to the sexiest man alive about giving me more anxiety drugs. Just think about how that affects my chances of scoring a date!” He whined, reaching into his pocket and beginning to snack on some trail mix. </p><p>“Whatever, just remember how Fisher told you off for even smiling at him tonight. I can’t imagine we’ll ever find your body if he figures out you’re trying to ask out Doc.” Jack said, sauntering in and stealing a handful of M&amp;M’s from Jordan’s trail mix. </p><p>“Alright, now can I ask why you were calling me so much? Knowing you, you’ve planned out some big “team-bonding” exercise, right?” Jordan nodded and grabbed the TV remote. </p><p>“We,” he said, pausing as he turned on the TV and found the channel he was looking for, “are going to bond over the greatest Christmas movie of all time!” </p><p>The others groaned as It’s a Wonderful Life began behind him. “Come on! Here I am, trying to make new traditions, and all you three do is complain!” </p><p>Miles was, of course, the first to cave. Jack followed and muttered something about turning this into Mystery Science Theater. Jordan looked expectantly at Eliza, hitting her with the full force of his puppy dog eyes. </p><p>“I don’t celebrate Christmas.” She said, knowing she’d lost the moment Jordan’s bottom lip started trembling. “Ugh, fine.” She sighed, plopping herself onto the couch as Jordan cheered and scampered to the kitchen for popcorn. </p><p>-</p><p>Jordan fell asleep five minutes later. The others sighed, and wrapped a blanket around him, settling in to watch the rest of the movie, just like they had every Christmas since the four of them had joined Rainbow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>you know the drill. PLEASE comment or kudos or bookmark or ANYTHING I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE INTERACT</p><p>also follow my tumblr!!!! gayoperatorgunclub 😎😎😎</p><p>anyways, thank you so much, and have a great rest of your day!!!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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